Recently in my neighborhood, I learned that the relative of a neighbour was killed in a violent car crash.   The (engaged) woman who told me this tried to sweeten things over by saying "but thankfully he was single and didn't have any children."

THANKFULLY?????

Keira Knightley- let the lynching begin...

"That girl is too skinny"   "Guy's don't like skinny girls"  "Real women have curves"

If I hear anymore of this skinny-girl bashing BULLSH*T, I am going to stick my own fingers down my throat!   It seems that in 2007, the one demographic that it is okay to discriminate against, hate and bash are SKINNY GIRLS.    How did this happen?  Wasn't being slim and healthy once considered a GOOD thing?   I blame the 80's.   It was that decade that gave birth to the whole anorexia/bulimia scare- dime store novels featuring hospital clad skeletal girls under titles such as "TAKE A BITE OUT OF LIFE!" adorned book shelves, actresses "opened up" about their starvation tactics and the pressure to be slim, TV shows such as 90210 had "very special episodes" in which main characters would fall prey to the illness.   The scare was so bad that in the 1990's people began to think that being skinny and being anorexic were one and the same.   Naturally skinny girls (such as Kate Moss) had to constantly defend their natural size and say things like "I eat pizza and fries all the time!"    But in the millenium, things got a lot worse for us skinny-minnies.   The hatred towards skinny girls has reached such a peak that even an alarmingly gorgeous actress such as Keira Knightley has fallen prey.    Despite her small bone structure and petite height, people just can't seem to get it through their, ahem, FAT heads that she comes by her size naturally.   Keira has admitted to trying to GAIN weight to appease the haters and says that the bashing has affected her self-esteem.   In a recent interview, she states: "I haven't got a clue about how much I weigh. I do not own any scales. And I have noticed it creates an anger in people who are not skinny. People like to blame their insecurities on other people."     If Keira feels insecure now, what about the rest of us normal skinnies?   I'll write more on this later, but in the meantime STOP THE HATE!

Just in time for Back to School...

Are you thinking of applying to a private (non-publicly funded) college?   See below for my special print and save listing of what you should LOOK OUT for so you (and your wallet) don't get burned...

LOOK OUT! IF...

1. You found the school through a late night infomercial begging you to "CALL NOW!" - Real schools are not this desperate and do not have people answering their phones at 2 in the morning.   Actually, it's a good idea to avoid purchasing almost anything that you see advertised in an infomercial but esp. your education!

2. You went in for an interview with a representative of the school and now they won't stop calling you!   - Don't flatter yourself.   They may be oozing on the praise (such as "We REALLY need a student like you!") but a reputable college does not have to chase after it's students.    As with everything in the real world, if it's worth it, usually YOU will have to pursue it not the other way around.   

3. They promise that they will find you a job/career in their advertisements- Again, see my comment above about "the real world".    No one can "get you a job".  No one.   Do you see U of T or Ryerson promising people jobs?  No.   If an institution is providing a quality education they do not need to pull out gimmicks like this because the education itself should guarantee qualification for career advancement.    See this promise for what it is- an empty money-grabber.   

4. They don't ask you for a portfolio or they accept you before seeing one.   - This usually means that the only qualification is a pay cheque- NOT a good sign if it's an artsy or creative type school.

5. They advertise small class sizes but when you look around you see students sitting on the floor and spilling out in the hallways.  - A reputable "specialty" school only accepts a certain number of students in order to keep their reputation high.  

Not all private colleges are rip-offs of course, but considering their higher cost, it is a good idea to do some background work in order to educate yourself on their success rate and reputation.    I would suggest typing the school's name in Google and seeing what pops up (besides their website), checking out The Rip-off Report website and Better Business Bureau's website and making sure that the school's name is not on it, checking to see if the school is really run privately or is actually owned by a corporation and visiting the school on your own during school hours to see what the classrooms look like and perhaps even talking to some current students. 

Good luck!!!

For my birthday, my FF (Fabulous Friend) Karen got me Ariel Levy's eye-opening book, Female Chauvinist Pigs.
"If male chauvinist pigs of years past thought of women as pieces of meat," Levy writes, "Female Chauvinist Pigs of today are doing them one better, making sex objects of other women- and of themselves."

When at one time, college women were burning their bras, today they get implants. The women who once scoffed at men for refering to them as "chicks" are now calling each other "bitches" and "hos". Women who angrily spoke out against female genital mutilation in third world countries are now forking over big bucks to get their own labia cut off. College girls bare all for Girls Gone Wild- not for money but for trucker hats.

We can't blame the guys this time; women are literally doing this to themselves.

Those of you shrugging your shoulders right now and saying "Hey, that's liberation," need to read Levy's book first.

Levy is not a conservative and she is by no means "anti-sex". A feminist who fully supports gay-marriage (and who points out how hypocrital America is in it's ban on gay-marriage, stating that if we block this basic right to homosexuals then "all the cardio-stripteases in the world aren't going to render us sexually liberated"), Levy also supports female sexuality- the problem, as she points out, is that what is being sold to us right now as "female sexuality and empowerment" is just the opposite- the "liberated" girls and women whom she interviews admit to many one-night stands and brag about "f*cking like a man", but they also admit to not enjoying sex and to seeking out conquests for status rather than for pleasure. "A lot of guys expect oral sex," one of Levy's teenage subjects tells her, "Not girls...people would think they were weird if they did."

FCP is as much an anti-consumerist book as it is a feminist one. As Levy writes, "If you remove the human factor from sex and make it about STUFF- big fake boobs, bleached blonde hair, long nails, poles, thongs- then you can sell it. Suddenly sex requires shopping; you need plastic surgery, peroxide, a manicure, a mall."
Hmmm...very interesting theory- and one can't deny the fact that people were getting it on long before silicone was invented.

What really struck me was how most of Levy's female subjects were, inspite of their professed love for Playboy and porn, anti-woman. They said things like "I'm not a girly-girl", "I don't like other girls", "Most of my friends are guys", "I'm like a man- not a prissy girl". What happened to Sister-hood? What happened to "Girl Power"? Or as Levy points out: "Even if you are a woman who achieves the ultimate and becomes like a man, you will still always be like a woman. And as long as womanhood is thought of as something to escape from, something less than manhood, you will be thought less of, too."

What is also interesting is that when a FCP say's she is "like a man"- she is referring to the most banal, worst male stereotype- the beer swilling, loud mouthed, farting perv. I've met many men in my life but only a handful who fit neatly in to this package. Most men I've come in contact with are much more complicated than that.

Levy's book is written with razor sharp wit and is downright colorful to read- I finished the book in one day. It's also chock full of interesting tid-bits of the second generation of feminism (or as Levy calls it, "the time when feminism was fun"). Who knew, for example, that before either were famous, a mutual friend tried to set Gloria Steinem and Hugh Hefner up on a blind date? (Needless to say, it didn't work out).

Near the end of her book, Levy writes-
"There are other choices. If we are really going to be sexually liberated, we need to make room for a range of options as wide as the variety of human desire. We need to allow ourselves the freedom to figure out what we internally want from sex instead of mimicking whatever popular culture holds up to us as sexy. THAT would be sexual liberation."
Hey- it's gotta beat a lame trucker hat.

"What gentlemen say and what gentlemen mean are two different things"- Mammy, Gone with the Wind

What he says:  "I like girls with curves."

What he means: "I like anorexic girls with big breasts."

What he says: "I think I'm falling in love with you."

What he means: "I know I want to have sex with you."

What he says: "I don't like skinny model types."

What he means: "Skinny model types don't like me."

What he says: "I think there are more important things in a relationship than sex."

What he means: "I'm impotent."

What he says: "I'm really young at heart."

What he means: "I still live in my parent's basement, hang around my old highschool and date 17 year olds."

What he says: "I'm a very passionate, erotic lover."

What he means: "I'm more into myself than you- you'd probably have more fun with a battery operated friend."

So a very good friend of mine just broke up with his dedicated girlfriend of 10 years.   As much as I love him, I have to say that he ain't doin' the whole Break Up Thing right- so therefore I have provided this handy "How To" list of steps you must take as the Dumper to insure the mental sanity of the Dumpee (remember, what goes around comes around as Mr. Timberlake says...and I say that the way you end your current relationship usually affects how your next one will end for YOU)...

HOW TO BE A GOOD BREAKER-UPPER:

1.  For God's sake, have the break up conversation IN PERSON!!!  Not over the phone, not over email and definitely NOT by text message!   (Britney Spears shouldn't be your role model in ANY way).  Though it is best to break up in a mutual place, I have to say that it is rather mean to do it in a restaurant/coffee shop where your Dumpee won't be able to break down in tears in dignity.   Remember, you may just want a clean break but the Dumpee is confused, hurt and needs answers- you can't blame them for stalking you later if you won't give them closure now.

2. Flowers, Candy, Money- send all to your Dumpee in that order after the breakup.   I think gifts are more important to MEND a heart that you've broken than to CAPTURE a heart that you want.

3. Be there for your Dumpee- that means don't avoid their calls/emails/texts after the breakup: to do so will only make the Dumpee feel like she/he did something wrong (unless of course they DID do something wrong like cheating or setting your house on fire or something- note: wearing gigantic New Balance sneakers does not count as doing something wrong- though it is very wrong fashion-wise)

4. Don't trash talk your Dumpee to all your friends IN ANY WAY- when your friends ask, be sure to say "We broke up but it was a MUTUAL decision".    Yes, your Dumpee is probably trash-talking you but you probably deserve it for breaking his/her heart.

5. Don't have sex with anyone else for at least 5 years.  (If your Dumpee consents, you may have sex with him/her but be sure to send flowers the next day).

Sound hard?  Well, it can't be harder than getting your heart ripped out through your throat and having the one you trusted do a moon-walk all over it, now can it?    If you follow my advice this time, I guarantee happy break-ups and good relationships in the future.   (Karma, Karma, Karma).

This kinda goes with my Ginger post...found these hair facts kinda interesting:

Canadian actors walk off job for first time in union’s 64-year history.

That sound you hear is no one giving a dang.